When a couple makes the decision to have a family, a lot of thought is involved. While many companies now offer both maternity and paternity leave, the amount of time is usually capped at three months. A 3-month old child is certainly not capable of being left alone, so a lot of families have to decide - who leaves work and stays with the baby?
A recent article in the Huffington Post delved even deeper into this complicated decision, discussing the consequences of the stay-at-home mom who later regrets her decision to "give up a promising career to raise her three children." She soon finds herself getting divorced and is dealing not only with the financial setback of not having worked (in a professional career, because we all know that being a parent is a full time job) but with the Court's possibly prejudiced view of her choice to "leave" her children and pursue her career again.
"Mothers don't expect a return on their investment, per se. That would be far too crass. After all, motherhood is a gift, motivated by unselfish devotion. The process is its own reward. But is requesting financial acknowledgment more crass than a father benefiting from years of unpaid domestic labor while enjoying the emotional benefits of being a dad?" (Please note, this question is not necessarily gender specific; the same issues are faced for stay-at-home dads and moms who remain in the workforce). Statistically, there are more fathers seeking custody than ever before and courts are now fairly balanced in awarding custody to mothers and fathers. In this particular situation, when a mother loses a custody dispute, one might question whether the decision reflects a view that a mother's newfound desire to pursue her career outside of her home is the equivalent of "quitting" her kids. When a mother decides to rebuild her professional life, is it the same as choosing to live without her children?
As families shift away from the "traditional" structure of our past, the stay-at-home Mom, new issues bloom and society's view (as well as the court's) needs to shift too. Blame is placed, arguments ensue, families are torn apart, actions are questioned, decisions are second-guessed, children endure. The important thing is to do your best and not put your desires and passions on the back burner, because unhappiness will negatively impact everything else. The goal is to balance family needs and professional needs, which is not the same as deserting a child or saying goodbye to a career. It's easier said than done, but, that's why there are lawyers to help through the process.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-baldwin/mothers-without-children_b_2025506.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce
