Successfully Co-Parenting with Your Ex

Divorcing parties are often happy to think about their divorce day and the thought of never having to see each other again. However, spouses who have children together will still need to interact with each other on a regular basis. The relationship transitions from a romantic one to a co-parenting one.

There are steps that parents can take to successfully raise children together. These steps can often help children be well-adjusted and thrive after the divorce.

Don’t Talk Badly about the Other Parent

Even if the other parent has wronged you in some way, it is important that you do not say unkind things about him or her in front of your children. Don’t make your kids feel like there is something wrong with loving their mom or dad. Model an environment of respect and your children will more likely follow it.

Have Parenting Meetings

Have periodic times that you check up with each other. This gives you a chance to reach parenting decisions together. Having periodic meetings lets parents address concerns as well as anticipate specific times to work together. These meetings do not need to be in person. They may be done by telephone or over email. These meetings should focus on issues related to the children and not stray from this focus. Parents may talk about things coming up, such as doctors’ appointments, extracurricular activity, changes in parenting time or other matters related to the children.

Be Consistent

Sometimes parents may become competitive with each other and for their children’s love. They may try to bribe their kid to love them more by buying more gifts or being more lenient. However, many studies show the importance of consistency in a child’s life.  Work with the other parent to come up with important rules that the children will be expected to follow in both households. This can help the children more easily transition between the households and to feel like their parents are on the same team.

Be Flexible, When Appropriate

Although a parenting plan can outline very specific dates when the kids will be with one parent, it is important for both parents to be willing to be flexible to accommodate for needs that come up. A parent may get sick, may have to work or go out of town, which can disrupt the plan. It is often best for the parent to provide as much notice as possible to the other parent as possible, and hopefully the other parent will be open to adjusting the schedule

Divorcing parties are often happy to think about their divorce day and the thought of never having to see each other again. However, spouses who have children together will still need to interact with each other on a regular basis. The relationship transitions from a romantic one to a co-parenting one.

There are steps that parents can take to successfully raise children together. These steps can often help children be well-adjusted and thrive after the divorce.

Don’t Talk Badly about the Other Parent

Even if the other parent has wronged you in some way, it is important that you do not say unkind things about him or her in front of your children. Don’t make your kids feel like there is something wrong with loving their mom or dad. Model an environment of respect and your children will more likely follow it.

Have Parenting Meetings

Have periodic times that you check up with each other. This gives you a chance to reach parenting decisions together. Having periodic meetings lets parents address concerns as well as anticipate specific times to work together. These meetings do not need to be in person. They may be done by telephone or over email. These meetings should focus on issues related to the children and not stray from this focus. Parents may talk about things coming up, such as doctors’ appointments, extracurricular activity, changes in parenting time or other matters related to the children.

Be Consistent

Sometimes parents may become competitive with each other and for their children’s love. They may try to bribe their kid to love them more by buying more gifts or being more lenient. However, many studies show the importance of consistency in a child’s life.  Work with the other parent to come up with important rules that the children will be expected to follow in both households. This can help the children more easily transition between the households and to feel like their parents are on the same team.

Be Flexible, When Appropriate

Although a parenting plan can outline very specific dates when the kids will be with one parent, it is important for both parents to be willing to be flexible to accommodate for needs that come up. A parent may get sick, may have to work or go out of town, which can disrupt the plan. It is often best for the parent to provide as much notice as possible to the other parent as possible, and hopefully the other parent will be open to adjusting the schedule.

 

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