5 Ways to Stay Calm During a Divorce

5 Ways to Stay Calm During a Divorce -Boston Divorce Lawyer

By: Julia Rodgers

Studies show that the process of divorce, when not managed properly, causes stress. As you probably know, stress compromises the immune system, and can lead to illness. Managing stress through a divorce is the first way to keeping calm and staying healthy. Here are five tips to get you started.

  1. Quiet Time

Whether you prefer to call it meditation, or quiet time, it's important to carve it out of your day and call it your own. This is the time when you take time to read, study, commune with nature, or just unplug and reflect.

  1. Support System

Friends and family can play a large role in your mental health during this time. Oftentimes, we want our personal lives to be private, but hiding your divorce from loved ones will cause more stress. Be up front with friends and family--especially those you depend upon for encouragement and companionship. You may be surprised with how much support you will receive. Your coworkers are likely the last people you want to divulge your personal details to, but they're often the ones who should know some of the basics, and may be able to offer an additional layer of support.

  1. Balance Stimulants/Alcohol

Stimulants like sugar, caffeine, and alcohol should be balanced with a healthy diet and used moderately. Make a point of limiting the day or the amount (ex: one cup of coffee each morning, one glass of wine at night or only twice a week, etc.). Turning to stimulants or alcohol can back-fire and lead to dependency, which creates more stress.

  1. Hobbies and Habits

If you're tempted to waste money on shopping or junk food during stressful moments, find a productive way to spend it by investing in a new hobby. The practice of buying will give you a boost, but by learning a new craft or hobby, you’ll now have something to help focus your mind and help you remain calm during moments of stress. Some popular hobbies include:

  • Painting
  • Writing
  • Yoga / Sports
  • Playing a musical instrument
  • Volunteering
  1. Reflect on the Past, and Focus on the Future.

Throughout the course of a divorce, there may be  second thoughts, hurt feelings, the weighing of pros and cons, negotiation, mediation, fighting, and excessive emotion. The feelings and fears that surface during a divorce are often enough to make anyone buckle under the pressure.  This is why is it important to remember the relationship you once had, while engaging in therapy and emotional support groups to move on in a healthy way. Remember, moving on in a healthy way takes work.

Try to focus on who you want to be in this next phase of your life. To do this, try to reconnect with  yourself by remembering what you like to do; what your favorite music is, what movies you love, what you truly enjoy doing. Try to imagine what your ideal life may look like in two years, five years and ten years from now. Doing so may help give you the clarity that you need at this moment.

Remember: divorce is about the future, not the past. Your future depends on your healthy body and mind. Your future depends on how you handle today.

Julia Rodgers, Mavrides Law

 

 

To speak with a lawyer about divorce or other family law matter, contact Mavrides Law in Boston, Newton, or Quincy, MA. To schedule an initial consultation, call 617-723-9900 or contact the firm at info@mavrideslaw.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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