by: Julia Rodgers
How do you see the signs your marriage could be over? For many of us, the reality of “till death do us part” may become an improbable ideal. When a marriage becomes too painful and communication has broken down, it may be time to re-evaluate what is best for you and your family. Although each marriage is personal and each situation is different, if the following signs sound all too familiar, it might be time to let go:
1. Negativity Engulfs your Marriage
If there are problems in your marriage and you or your partner avoid seeking solutions, the negativity in your marriage will soon outweigh the good. Are there more negative interactions with your spouse than positive? Seeking advice from a professional marriage therapist can help you and your spouse solve problems before they become unmanageable. Every marriage experiences the ups and downs associated with being a couple; but when the negativity far outweighs the positive aspects of your union, it may be time to split.
2. There is no more team.
In a healthy marriage, both partners work as part of a team. It is important that you and your partner are working for the betterment of the team, and communication is the key to success. Although it may sound cliché, it takes good communication between you and your partner to run a household, support each other financially and emotionally, and raise children together. If you and your partner are not communicating your needs, not spending time together, and you feel a sense of relief to be apart, it is likely you are disengaging from your marriage.
3. You enjoy imagining a life without your spouse.
If you fantasize about how much better your life could be if you and your spouse split up, it is either time to talk with a marriage therapist, or time for a divorce. Oftentimes marriages fall apart over a period of years, and by the time both parties realize it, both partners are withdrawn from the relationship, and it is too late to recover. If you find that you have no desire to share your life with your spouse, and you spend much of your time daydreaming about your life without them, it may be time to make a change.
4. You Fundamentally Disagree on Key Issues.
One component of a successful marriage involves the desire to fulfill your partner’s needs while also making sure your own needs are being met. Good communication and compromise can solve many disagreements, such as who handles the finances and where you and your spouse are spending the holidays. However, if one of you absolutely wants children, and the other downright refuses, your relationship is in trouble. Both partners need to be on the same page with regards to fundamental life choices, or else it may mean the end of your marriage.
5. There is Addiction.
Being in a relationship with an alcoholic or drug abuser is a miserable and heart wrenching experience. Anyone who has experienced this in a relationship can vouch for how difficult it is to watch your spouse slowly slip further from the person they once knew. When alcohol or drugs overwhelm your relationship, it is time to reconsider whether or not you want your spouse’s addictions in your life. Destructive behavior is a major sign that your spouse needs professional help, and that your relationship is nearing it’s breaking point.
Julia Rodgers, Mavrides Law
To speak with a lawyer about a divorce or other family law matter, contact Mavrides Law in Boston or Quincy, Massachusetts. To schedule an initial consultation, call 617-723-9900 orcontact the firm by email ([email protected])
